So my husband and I sat down and watched this movie the other night and I loved Fat Amy so much. I guess probably because since I just had a baby three months ago and still have a fat suit of my own on, I felt like she was a kindred spirit. Although she has way more confidence than I ever will.
But seriously ever since watching that movie I have been thinking about the meaning of true confidence. Not cockiness but confidence. I mean Fat Amy truly has a lot of confidence in who she is as a person and I was reflecting on whether I as a mother of an 18 month old and a 3 month old feel like I have any self confidence? My husband says I'm beautiful even when I haven't showered and my hair feels like velvet. I call it the velvet stage. but lets be honest its not his opinion that seems to matter to me. Although it does. I love that he thinks I look sexy after a long day of staying at home in my oversized t-shirt with no bra and my hair up in a librarian bun, wearing yoga pants that has paint on it and a hole in the right butt cheek area. I know he thinks I'm hot, he's a guy. and guys like boobs, they don't care whats covering the boobs, they just love boobs. (by the way my husband will be so mad when he sees that I wrote that) thats not the point of this blog.
The point of this blog is that I care what other women think of how I look. I hate that I do but I do. And I know that all you ladies out there have the exact same problem. Its the curse of being a women. We feel this insane need to compare our bodies to the girl next to us. Guys think we are dressing up and working our butts off at the gym for them but really its for every women we come into contact with.
hey, maybe it is just me and I'm crazy and in that case pat your back and be proud your not me. But I have a hunch I'm not the only one who thinks this way. That being said why do we consistently feel the need to judge ourselves against others? What are we trying to prove to ourselves? how do we get from point A of constantly looking each other over to point B of feeling confident like Fat Amy, in our own skin around other women?
I mean I just had a baby three months ago and I had another baby before that 15 months ago so my body is so stretched and worn that most days I hate looking at the mirror or putting on any kind of pant that has buttons or a zippers on it. I should be looking at my body with respect for bringing in new life and not get frustrated that the pounds are just melting away, and the stretch marks fading. How can a women who believes she is a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves her, feel so inferior to all other women?
With all those questions now posed I have decided that instead of just losing the baby weight for my new years resolution I am going to try and become a more confident me in the present tense. I'm not going to focus on how many pounds I lose or how many calories I eat. I'm going to focus on how I can stop comparing myself to every women out there that I come into contact with. I'm going to learn how to truly be happy with me, mother of two beautiful girls, wife to a super hunky, wonderfully awesome husband, daughter of the best parents ever, sister-in-law to 4 super funny and sweet sisters, home cook, book worm, hater of green olives, LOTR geek, costco junkie, project Runway watcher, leaf hunter, power walker, can't have dishes in the sink when I go to bed, stretchy pant wearer, malerie.
thanks fat Amy.
love,
Fat Mal
